Thursday, 22 September 2011

My birthing story

So I've been totally lame in updating this blog. Oops. So this will be a long post to catch up on our recent exciting events!

Our gorgeous new addition to our family, Harrison Paul John Taylor arrived on 26 August 2011. His arrival was slightly frustrated and traumatic, but I guess most births are! Thankfully he arrived safe and sound by emergency c-section at 4.57am.

When we were in our antenatal classes, Chris and I took an evening to consider how we would like the birth to go and what options we wanted to go for. We decided on an active birth, preferably in the birthing pool. Chris would cut the cord, the placenta would be delivered naturally. I didn't want my waters broken artificially and I wanted to take skin on skin immediately on birth. Erm, it didn't quite happen that way! In fact, the midwife may as well have taken the plan and taken it as instruction on exactly what was absolutely not to happen!

Having had contractions since Tuesday night, we went to the hospital on Thursday morning with strong contractions coming every 4 minutes. By the time we arrived at the hospital (just a 10 minute drive away) the contractions had slowed down to every 7 or so minutes. The midwife checked me and declared me to be 3 cm dilated. We were advised to go home and come back when we felt we had to. So away we went and by lunch time the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes again. So back to hospital we went. We were shown up to triage and told to wait in a cubicle. Contractions slowed down again to every 6 minutes. After an hour of waiting we were again told I was 3 cm dilated and to go home. By the time we got home the contractions were few and far between at 10-15 minutes apart. By 4pm I was able to sleep for an hour on the sofa with the contractions coming every 30 minutes or so. By 7pm they were all over the place (7 mins, 20 mins, 12 mins) but coming stronger and stronger. Whilst I was reluctant to go back to hospital, Chris insisted we go.

When we arrived, we were told that the shift was about to change over so they would not do an internal until the midwife I would be allocated for the night arrived. So they hooked me up to the trace instead which measured my contractions and baby's heartbeat. On the first contraction whilst hooked up, baby's heart beat dropped from 136 bpm to 56 bpm. This gives you an idea of why things didn't go to plan! When I was checked at 9.30pm I was 7cm (not bad going with just a TENS machine and bouncing around on a birthing ball at home in my opinion!).

With the heart beat dropping, they decided to break my waters to speed things up and get baby out quicker. There was meconium in the waters and this being a further sign of distress decided to move us to a bigger delivery suite so they could have a bigger team on hand and more equipment, including a resusitair (sp?) for the baby when he was delivered.

Throughout the labour, any time I moved off my left hand side or had a contraction the baby's heart beat dropped. I had a gut feeling this was going to result in a c-section and decided to ask for an epidural just after midnight. It didn't work! The midwifes had to call through to the anaesthetist to get permission to increase the dose. When they rolled me to my right hand side to let the dose settle on that side, the baby's heart beat stopped entirely and the crash team was called. As soon as I was moved back to my left hand side the heart beat came back and doctor was called off to an instrumental delivery in another room. He came back at 3am to do a fetal blood sample to check the oxygen levels. I was still 7cm. The oxygen levels being fine, he agreed to come back and check me at 4am, 5am and 6am with a view to deciding what to do to move things forward at 6am.

Over the next hour, the baby's heart beat stopped with almost every contraction. By that point, Chris was holding the monitor on my stomach and trying to find the heart beat when it stopped in case it was just the monitor losing contact that was causing the heart beat to go from the screen.

When the doctor came back at 4am, he looked at the trace and agreed with us that a c-section was the safest way to proceed. By that time, Chris and I were ready to demand a c-section because it was clear that the baby was not happy and we weren't prepared to put him at risk any longer.

At 4.57am on Friday 26 August 2011, Harrison Paul John Taylor joined our family, weighing 6lb 12oz. We had originally had a list of 4 names, Benjamin, Oliver, William and Harrison. Benjamin was by far our favourite but as soon as we held him in our arms, we both independently thought he didn't look like a Benjamin! Whilst I was being put back together again in theatre, Chris had skin to skin. For all the drama he caused arriving, he was fit and healthy with apgar scores of 9 (it's out of 10 for those that don't know and a score to show how responsive and healthy a newborn baby is).



I spent two days in hospital and was let home on the Sunday. Two days was more than enough! The food was vile and I barely slept because everyone's babies were crying all night! The girl in the bed next to me in particular didn't seem to get that when your baby cries, you need to feed it, change its nappy, wind it, burp it etc and just left it screaming in its cot until the midwife came in to see what the issue was!

So Harry is here now and is a gorgeous little boy who is starting to show his personality. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't like already! He has developed a new talent for pooing out the side of his nappy this last week and also becomes quite vocal when his bottle gets taken off him! He is suffering with painful wind at the moment, so we have had to start using Infacol when we feed him. He sleeps well, waking just once at night for a feed (usually at about 3am but has slept until 5/6am a few times now).

He is taking 3-4oz every 4 hours. You could set your watch by him!

Chris has been amazing since Harry arrived. He's been very bossy with me because I try to do too much after major surgery - like clean the kitchen cupboard doors the 3 days after surgery. He has done a great job of keeping Harry and I in clean clothes and food. We have eaten better this last 4 weeks than ever. It is much easier to plan and prepare meals being at home. Tesco online is my new best friend. Our weekly food shop is easily £20 cheaper from not buying all those tempting "bargains" as we meander around the store. Also saves me from getting trolley rage!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

25 weeks in and 15 to go

I thought I should post and write down some of my reflexions on the first two trimesters of my pregnancy before I forget! So here are a few things I have learnt along the way:


  • Some women bloom in pregnancy and love it - I am not one of them. I am permanently tired and frustrated at how quickly I get tired (see below)

  • "I'm pregnant - not ill" is absolutely right, but that doesn't mean you have to be superwoman and nor does it mean you can carry on as normal. When I was 14 weeks pregnant I was involved in a transaction at work that kept me there until 1am on a Friday night and on calls with clients and marking up documents all weekend. That resulted in me being absolutely shattered for about 3 weeks. I have since tried to leave before 7pm each night but don't always manage it.

  • Midwifes will look at you as if you are totally nuts if you let them know you worked until 1am whilst pregnant!

  • I can be reduced to tears at a whim (examples include: a total meltdown on Wall Street in New York when I couldn't find anything to eat (all the shops were shut as it was a Sunday afternoon) and I was really hungry; reading "Guess How Much I Love You" in Waterstones book store one Saturday afternoon and crying when I got to the end and crying because I am tired)

  • There is a serious gap in the clothing market - getting maternity clothes that are smart for a pregnant professional is a nightmare. Most shops' ideas of maternity work clothes are t-shirts and leggings! Not quite the tailored shirts and suits my workplace expect!

  • Boobs can grow at an extortionate rate and I should take out shares in M&S!

  • Books entitled "40,0001 Baby Names" should be taken off the shelves on account of the misrepresentation. Since when were "money" and other equally ridiculous suggestions names?

  • Everyone will have a different opinion on your bump size. Some say its big, others say its small.

  • Chivalry is dead. I stand on the train most days and have only been offered a seat once - by a lady in her 60s. Men (and women) in their suits will have a look, spy the bump and immediately look the opposite way ensuring no eye contact is made. This includes women you have previously given seats to when they were pregnant! Memories are short!

  • Seeing your baby's heart beat on an ultrasound and seeing him moving around the screen is the best sight in the world and hearing his heartbeat is amazing.

  • My little boy is going to have a sweet tooth. Eating/drinking anything sweet gets him doing a jig in my tummy.

  • Deciding whether or not to breastfeed is a huge decision that I can't yet make.

  • I can't wait to cuddle my baby.

  • Chris is going to be a wonderful father - he loves to feel the baby wriggle and kick and regularly kisses my tummy despite the fact it is now getting a bit fuzzy (is that normal???)

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Christmas Miracle

Chris and I fell ill just before Christmas was an awful flu bug that is doing the rounds. Our Christmas break rather than visiting family was resigned to taking a sofa each in our PJs and feeling sorry for ourselves. Christmas dinner was a few slices of home baked ham with microwaved mash potatoes. Sorry Chris!

You all know about the saga that was our IVF cycle and since then, without getting too personal or gross my cycles have been kind of irregular, so I hadn't been tracking them too close. At Christmas it occurred to me it had been a WHILE since anything had "happened" so thought before I go to the trouble of seeing the consultant again I best just rule out pregnancy. So reluctantly pulled a test from the back of the cupboard (thinking what a waste of money - it was one of the expensive digital ones!).

Well, before I could even flush the loo, it flashed up "Pregant 3+"

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No medical intervention required - we did it the "old fashioned way" as one friend commented! I'm somewhere between 8 - 9 weeks and I know too early to be sharing the news. We are not sharing widely, just close friends and family at this stage. Being very careful to make sure my brother does not put something about it on facebook! I know you guys are probably wondering how we are getting on with the IVF stuff, so thought I would let you all know.

On Friday last week we paid privately to get an early scan (to reassure me my body wasn't playing mean tricks on me more than anything else). And there on the screen was our perfect little bean with a fluttering heart. Amazing.

Chris and I are of course over the moon. We fly out to New York on Saturday to celebrate our 7 year anniversary and then down to Denver for 10 days for what was supposed to be a ski trip but will now be a lazy and relaxing trip!

So far I am feeling fine - sore boobs (sore massive boobs that should read) and feeling nauseous every evening or if I don't eat regularly, oh and also my jeans are already too tight to button up (despite having lost 7lbs over Christmas from being ill). All crazy but wonderful!

Monday, 15 November 2010

thoughts on IVF

We are due to see the consultant in 2 weeks to catch up on my IVF process and what the next steps are. Being the organised and impatient me, I've been doing some research on-line and its not looking good.

From my earlier posts you probably realise that I have been diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (DOR), meaning exactly what it says on the tin - I am running out of eggs. The trouble that I have with IVF is that from reading various websites from reputable clinics - the experts just cannot agree on what the best drug regime is for people with DOR. The problem being that you have to try to balance the drugs that will most boost your follicles with the potential problem of those drugs increasing testosterone levels (which for a normal patient are fine but for a DOR patient can lead to egg and embryo quality issues).

I have also discovered that with DOR you are also at much greater risk of any pregnancy resulting in miscarriage.

Looking back I also now appreciate that 5 weeks of a heavy duty drug regime really did take its toll on me. I was tired, moody, nautious and generally feeling rubbish. My natural cycle is still totally messed up and actually leaves me in some serious pain every three weeks or so. Bleurgh.

Chris and I are planning a break to get away from it all for a while - we are about to book a trip to the US - with a few nights in NYC for our 7 year wedding anniversary and then fly down to Colorado to see my big brother and his wife. He lives in Denver so we plan to ski and hang out. Having a holiday doesn't say we aren't going to go for IVF, just that we feel we need some space and time to chill out and relax. Chris has unhelpfully been on the receiving end of disapproval to this plan already (from his mum). Apparently we are choosing a holiday over a child. If only that was the choice placed before us!

There are many IVF patients that choose to keep their treatment secret - often until they are fortunate enough to have a success story to share. The effect of which is that people only hear success stories - most people know someone that has had IVF success. They probably also know people that have had unsuccessful IVF but just don't know it because those stories aren't shared. IVF is not a miracle cure with guaranteed results. It is a serious medical procedure involving serious drugs and an operation under general anaesthetic. The stimulation of your ovaries also significantly increases the risk of developing ovarian cancer. So its not a choice of a holiday or a child.

On top of all that, it is also expensive. We were fortunate enough to have one cycle provided by the NHS at a cost of just £40 (prescription charges). The government last week pulled all funding for IVF in the UK and there has been an outcry on the IVF blogs and boards. For me, if it is a choice between carrying on treating cancer patients (or in fact any other patient in pain or with a physical medical need) or funding IVF - that is no choice. Patients with a physical illness or in pain must be prioritised. But equally, I also think that non-essential surgeries such as sex-change operations or any other cosmetic surgery to treat psychological issues should not be funded by the NHS whilst cancer patients are subject to a post-code lottery as to whether or not they get life-saving drugs.

Party political broadcast over.

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Wedding Fever



Chris's little sister Claire got married on 30th October 2010 to Nathan Bacon. It was a busy few weeks getting everything ready. Claire and Nathan asked me to be their wedding photographer which was a big honour but absolutely terrifying! Here is just a small sample. I started taking photos at 9am and didn't finish until 10.30pm. In the main I was pleased with them but unfortunately the photos with the temple at night were blurry because Chris drove off with my tripod in the back of the car! So had to use some "artistic" options to make the photo passable!
The cupcake photo shows some of my handywork the day before - icing about 200 cupcakes!

It has taken me 2 weeks to get through the 360 photos editing and cutting them down to the final 135 that made the album. I've ordered a photobook for Nathan and Claire with 2 small versions for each set of parents. I might have a weekend job soon if I keep this up! (That is a joke - this was the most exhausting and stressful day of my life worrying in case they photos didn't come out well!) I salute wedding photographers for the mantel they carry each weekend!










































Monday, 4 October 2010

30 things to do before I am 30 - update

I have finally decided what my literary goal will be - to read the top 50 novels:
(red = read)

1. To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
2. Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S Lewis
4. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
5. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
6. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
7. Animal Farm - George Orwell
8. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
9. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling
10. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

11. The Time Travellers Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
12. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
13. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kasey
14. Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
15. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
16. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
17. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
18. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night -time - Mark Haddon
19. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
20. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
21. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
22. Sons and Lovers - DH Lawrence
23. Anna Kareninia - Leo Tolstoy
24. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
25. Emma - Jane Austen
26. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
27. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
28. My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
29. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
30. A Passage to India - E.M Forster
31. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
32. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
33. Atonement - Ian McEwan
34. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
35. In Search of Lost Time - Marcel Proust
36. Middlemarch - George Eliot
37. White Teeth - Zadie Smith
38. To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf
39. It - Stephen King
40. Little Women - Louisa M. Alcott
41. Vanity Fair - William Thackeray
42. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
43. The Horse Whisperer - Nicholas Evans
44. Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe
45. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
46. Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift
47. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley

48. Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twin
49. Three Men in a Boat - Jerome K. Jerome
50. The Island - Victoria Hislop

Big Fat Negative

Last Wednesday I had to take a urine sample along to the clinic for testing. It was strange carrying that little bottle of urine - less a urine sample more of a crystal ball as to what our future held. Unfortunately, the result of our first attempt at IVF was a big fat negative. Boo!

When the nurse came in to tell us the result, she was very sweet and simply said "I'm sorry, its a no.". She is a great nurse - we've seen her a few times before and she was always great.

I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be. I did absolutely everything I possibly could have done to help it to work - regular reflexology, time off work, vitamin supplements, glasses of milk, fresh pineapple (don't ask!) and even gave up diet coke (now that was dedication!).

We've taken a few days to collect our thoughts and feelings. We only had once chance on the NHS, so to do it again will costs us about £6K - we have savings of £0.

The nurse gave us the option of seeing the consultant to go through the cycle and ask questions. There is no reason why it didn't work, but some people like to ask questions or they could just send out a letter summarising the consultants view on how the cycle went. We asked for the letter to be sent out but I called this morning to arrange an appointment because we have decided to give it another go after christmas.

Christmas will be downscaled in a big way in the Taylor household as we save like crazy to try to pay for our next attempt. Whilst neither of us are thrilled at the prospect of another full on month like September was, I think we both feel we have to try it again or else will regret it in the future when it is too late to try again. So we are going to gather our funds and gather our courage ready to start again after christmas. We must be mental!

I called the clinic this morning to arrange an appointment for to see the consultant. As soon as I explained our first round had failed and we were looking to go private for a second round, well, the receptionist could not have been MORE helpful! "Sure, how quickly would you like to be seen?" - "err, the end of November?" "no problem - how about the week of 23rd?" "yep" "okay we can do the 23rd, what time would you like? Is 9.30 okay for you?" Erm, are you the same frosty receptionist that normally just barks a time and date at me irrespective of its convenience??? Wow, she has either just had some major re-training or else money buys manners! Bizarre.